it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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