Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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