i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
