She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
