i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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