They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need a beard to bite.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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