yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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