Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
