I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Someone came in the potted fern
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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