Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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