physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
