you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
