She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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