we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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