she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
