If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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