I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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