i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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