i can't believe i had my finger in that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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