i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's rum buckets o'clock
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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