So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
