I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
