every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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