how hairy? two words: wookie tits
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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