You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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