you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
