Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
