non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
