Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
