well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
