i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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