What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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