I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
