Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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