why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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