I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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