You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
