Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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