I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
