You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
