my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
