He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she peed on how many people?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
