It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
