I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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