Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to jail i love you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize