btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
