I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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