im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
