and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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