somebody snuck up and got me drunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
