genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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