it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize