i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
