Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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