Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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