I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize