how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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