worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
