I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
