you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
