I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
