One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
