also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
