had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
