butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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