Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How's work?
Spinning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
