I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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