I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I FOUND THE LEGS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
