You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I won the penis lottery.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize