Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
